Lessons Learned in Year Two of Marriage


This past Monday, Andy and I celebrated two years of marriage. It's hard to believe we've already been married for two years, but at the same time I feel like we're already that old couple sitting on their porch swing watching all the younger folk carry on with their lives.

We've spent some time reflecting on what the past year looked like; the things we no longer fight about because we've grown, the changes we've gone through together, and what we think this next year will look like. I have to admit, being the anxious person that I am, I'm always a little afraid of the unknown of the future. We really haven't had too many serious challenges to face in our marriage, and it always makes me fearful that some big event is looming ahead. Thankfully that doesn't stop me from appreciating the moments we're in, and recognizing all of the growth we've gone through/are going through together.

With the help of the hubs, we came up with three main things we learned in this second year together. (Check out what we learned in year one here )


The Importance of Building a Home...Together

Heading into this past year, Andy and I knew we would be beginning our house hunt. Luckily our visions for our future home aligned so it was easy to decide what we wanted and didn't want. It was all a little more stressful, a lot more expensive, and loads more time consuming than either of us ever could have imagined. Through it all, we talked through all of the big decisions together, even when that meant deciding on a house offer while I was in the mountains of Georgia for a race and he was back home in Tampa. Every decision, good or bad, was agreed upon and decided together. Once we moved in, we both knew we wanted it to be a place where our friends and family were comfortable and knew they were always welcome, and it has already fulfilled that dream. 


Take Surprises in Stride, Even When They're Puppies (or Termites, or Plumbing Issues)

This point is quite literal. In the beginning of last August Andy brought home a puppy late one Saturday night. We had talked about getting a dog once we had our house, but I was dragging my feet since I already had two cats who had never lived with a dog. While I wanted to do my research, Andy opted to just bring one home and let the cats figure it out. I could have spent weeks being pissed about it, especially since my cats still never leave our bedroom, but it would have been wasted energy. The dog is now a part of our little family and I've grown to love him (mainly because he likes me more than Andy). He's even sitting next to me as I'm writing this post.

We've had other surprises over the past year - termites in our new home, leaking pipes under our kitchen sink at 9 o'clock at night - but we take it all in stride. We try to focus on not letting the surprise stress or financial burdens weigh us down and talk through all of the options together. There is always a solution to our problems, and it's easier to find those solutions when we face the challenges level headed and together.


Support Over Sleep

I tend to be an earlier riser, while Andy thrives at night time. After dinner, I'm ready to curl up on the couch to watch TV or read, while Andy sets up to work on freelance work. Occasionally I have to push through my exhaustion when he needs my input on a project he's working on even when I'm close to dozing off on the couch. In exchange, Andy woke up at an unGodly hour a few weeks ago to volunteer for the half marathon I was running so I could participate for free. I know he would have much preferred to sleep in on a Sunday, but by the time we were driving home he told me he'd gladly wake up early to support me. It's the same every time he wakes up before work to hit the gym with me. I can always catch up on sleep, but I don't always have the opportunity to sit up with my husband and help him as he's facing a project or deadline.